THE SNAKE CHARMER

Kranker was sat near the bar drinking a beer.

It was a dark winter's night, which knocked on the door and rattled the frame.

"Hello".

The man startled Kranker, who spilled his drink.

"Oh I'm terribly sorry! Let me help you".

The man began to dab at the wetness on Kranker's shirt.

"Stop that! I'll do it myself thankyou!"

"Well at least let me buy you another drink"

"Fine. I'll have another glass of beer"

The man went to the bar and got two frothy pints. He tipped something into Kranker's.

"There you go!"

"Thank you"

"Sorry about the shirt"

"Forget it. I'm Kranker"

"Schlinker"

He held out his hand and they shook.

"What do you do Kranker?"

"I'm a pet control warden"

"Really! So you catch strays then?"

"Yes. Stray dogs mostly but also cats, guinea pigs. Even snakes!"

"Snakes! Well I never. How about that. Such a small world"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, you're a stray snake catcher and I'm a ..... snake charmer"

"A snake charmer?"

"Yes, I'm part of the Circus that's just arrived in town"

"Circus eh, I used to love going to the circus when I was a kid"

"Oh its not just for kids. We get many adults coming to the circus nowadays. My own act is very popular with grown men because its so terrifying"

"Terrifying? Why's that?"

"Well, its because I charm what is probably the biggest snake in the world. Its a forty foot long boa constrictor and is really quite frightening. It really draws in the crowds"

"Forty feet long! That's a proper monster!"

"Yes, its a freak really. Most likely a Titanoboa that's somehow re-evolved from other massive snakes"

"What on earth do you feed it on?"

"Well its a problem really. We need large animals like cows or horses, which we kill and keep frozen in a huge chest freezer"

"Does it like frozen animals?"

"Well, in the wild it would eat live prey naturally but with current legislation as it is we can't do that. It would make a great spectacle though, in the circus!"

"It sounds incredible. Forty feet long. I would love to see that."

"Really? You wouldn't be scared?"

"Oh no. I've caught a few large snakes in my time and it would be just so cool to see something that big. As long as I don't have catch it!"

"Of course not!" chuckled Schlinker, " and I'm sure I could get you in the Circus's final night tonight if you really want to see it."

"That would be great!"

"Well, just follow me then. I'm going over there right now."

Kranker followed Schlinker to the Circus marquee at the edge of town. It was in complete darkness. Schlinker checked his watch.

"Perfect. It's feeding time. You'll get to see it all Kranker."

"Fabulous. I can't wait!"

Kranker was feeling a little drowsy for some reason and began to stagger a little.

"Just through here."

Schlinker pulled back a canvas door and the two men walked into a pitch black space. 

"Just up here Kranker. You go in and I'll just reach in here and turn the light on."

Schlinker leaned into an alcove and grabbed hold of something long. He flicked the switch.

Immediately the space was filled with bright light and there was raucous applause from what seemed like a thousand people sat round a huge Circus ring.

"Wha - what's going on Schl - Schlinker?"

"I told you Kranker, you'll get to see it all, up close and personal."

Schlinker revealed a long shafted pitch fork and he began to viciously prod Kranker into the ring.

"As I said, its bleeding time!" bellowed Schlinker to the crowd who roared in appreciation.

"Titano is starving!" Kranker yelled and prodded Schlinker once more, this time drawing blood as he shambled into the centre of the circle to the loud applause of an exclusive crowd.

"What the hell are you doing Schlinker?"

"I'm feeding the snake Kranker and you are its food! Come, the town's elite are waiting!"

"For God's sake Schlinker, I beg you! This is insanity!"

"You mean for God's Snake Kranker!" Schlinker laughed as he stuck the fork's tines deep into the man's arm.

Kranker screamed in pain as the shackled Titano reared up high above him, its massive mouth stretched wide and its colossal fangs drooling venom.

The hapless victim froze and stared in horror at the leviathan towering over him. He struggled to wipe the drool from his eyes.

Schlinker whipped up the crowd. They were now on their feet and the snake master demanded a drum roll off them. From the rattle of jewellery and drumming an excited chorus for Titano sprang up. 

"Titano, Titano!"

Greedy for one last scream before it struck, Schlinker lunged at Kranker once again with his fork.

Suddenly Kranker grabbed its two prongs, the sharp tips piercing his palms. Despite his sedation, he pulled with all his might.

Kranker fell backwards and dragged Schlinker into the centre just as Titano's head was descending rapidly to devour its prey.

The bewildered snake charmer looked up, shielded his face and shrieked in terror.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Titano swallowed Schlinker whole, its long fangs piercing his face as his body slid down its giant throat with a shlurpp!

The crowd were momentarily stunned but then applauded the gruesome twist, clapping wildly in the aisles as the beast retreated to its high shackles beneath the roof, digesting the still-conscious Schlinker in the dark of the ring-top. 

From this black apex the grim loud sound of bones snapping could be heard.

The expensive crowd gasped but then bayed with pleasure despite the obvious agony unfolding above them.

Kranker, bleeding badly, slunk out of the tent past the flustered ring-master, who was holding a paint brush.

Outside he passed a hastily-made sign.

"Vacancy! Snake Charmer! Apply Within!"