Cecil had tried everything. Tripe, sweetbreads, kidneys, heart, even wazzles. Money was no object.
He was chewing on a dried pig's ear meant for his Doberman he was that desperate.
He just loved scoffing offal and organs. Animal of course, although he had often wondered about cannibals. What on earth did human flesh taste like?
He thought nothing more of it until one day he saw an ad at the back of his monthly Finance magazine that caught his attention.
The Rarest of all Flesh. Available Now. High Price. Tweet us.
The rarest? What could that be? Japanese beef? Maybe a Cephalopod? Curiosity got the better of Cecil so he tweeted.
The response was thus.
Once in a Lifetime Opportunity to eat the World's rarest flesh. Secret location. Discretion essential. The Price will be High. Message if you're game.
Cecil was game indeed and messaged them.
The response read:
Location will be forwarded. Tell no one or else your invite will be invalid. Remember, once in a lifetime.
The address arrived and Cecil set off in his Bentley. He told not a soul.
The place was dingy. A brutalist box of a building surrounded by rubbish but the car park was full of prestige cars. He knocked.
A young lady let him in. She smiled like a siren.
"Leave all belongings here in this box. Wallet, jewellery, rings, iPhone, Rolex and clothes. Not your underwear."
"My clothes?"
"Yes. You will need them afterwards. It can get messy"
Cecil did as he was told. The rarest of all flesh uppermost in his mind.
"What is it we are eating exactly?"
The young lady blew a large pink gum bubble in his direction and asked him to follow.
They entered a small room. There was a seat, which extended from the tiled wall.
A young man told him to sit.
"Do I pay now?"
"No, you pay later."
There was a whirring sound, as if a small motor had started up. From the opposite tiled wall a large box began to emerge and rotate in a semi-circle like the hand of a clock. Slowly it made its way to where Cecil was sat and stopped directly in front of him.
On top of the tiled box was a domed silver dinner cover, like the ones served at royal banquets.
What in the world could it be?
Cecil was excited and picked up the knife and fork in front of the cover. There was a large dessert spoon too.
The young man and woman from earlier walked back in. They were dressed in rubbery aprons and face gear like they wore in slaughterhouses.
"Oh what is it?" Cecil blurted out clapping his cutlery, hardly containing his growing excitement.
The young man lifted the cover. Beneath it was a man's head. He blinked and stared at Cecil and the two young people.
The young woman drew a samurai sword and swung swiftly and expertly. Swoosh!
The crown of the man's head was cut clean through. The young man lifted it off.
The head blinked again.
"Enjoy." said the young people.
She pointed to the exposed brain, still pulsating with instincts and thoughts.
Cecil stared at the blinking head and grabbed the spoon. He scooped out a first helping and tasted it.
"Christ, that's delicious! Who would have thought!"
In a ravenous frenzy Cecil devoured the head's entire contents. Brains, membranes, nerves, jelly, fat and all.
When he'd finished he threw the large spoon into the empty skull with a clatter.
The head blinked one last time and the eyes shut.
"Absolutely fucking wonderful! I could eat another one! Before I do I need to check the bill. What's the high price you mentioned?"
"Your life, of course, Cecil. Your life!" howled his hosts.
The two young people strapped Cecil to his chair and a large tiled box appeared from his own wall, revolving half a circle until it met him and slid over his seated body leaving his head outside it. The two young people fastened the open box-side shut and stepped aside.
"What in God's name are you doing? Just let me out and I'll pay double. I promise not to say a word to anyone."
"Oh we know that Cecil. You won't say another word. Ever!"
They both chuckled and together they placed the silver Dinner cover over his head before the box seat turned and arced through the wall into the room next door.
A man was seated in his underpants with a knife and fork gripped firmly in his hands.
"I can't wait to see what it is!" he smiled widely.
Cecil just gawped when the lid was lifted off his head.
"Oh My!" said the seated man and after the swoosh he tucked right in.
