Monday, June 13, 2022

Showtime!

Judy stood first. Punch followed. It was party time. The night was young. As young as new blood. They had time to kill.


The streets were dark. Darker than a dead show. People were thronging beneath the only lights outside the public houses swilling beer. Laughing like apes. 


Tussling. Pushing and shoving.


Judy stepped into a back street. Pitch black it was. She smoothed out her smock and whistled.


"Hello little lady!"


A rough voice grated the air. A large man appeared in front of Judy.


"You with anyone? You fancy a drink?"


He placed his hand on her arm.


"What the .....!"


Punch slit his throat with a quick, precise swoosh of his razor.


"That's the way to do it!" he trilled.


The man fell between bins. It made a racket. But the revellers didn't hear. They were too busy revelling.


Judy bent down and stared at the man's eyes. Blood welled up like a cherry cup. She reddened her lips with a few drops and batted her eyelids at Punch.


"Oh nooooo you don't!"


"Oh yes I do!"


"Oh noooo ...."


Judy was on him. He fell backwards stiffening. They groped, unbuckled. With guiding hands they mated furiously between the bins and screamed like cats.


"Well done Punchy!"


"Fits like a glove!"


"Let's have some fun. C'mon!"


They staggered off into the tent of darkness. Hideous to look at, night owls queuing for kebabs turned away when they saw Punch's massive chin and nose and Judy's blood red cheeks and smeared mouth.


Punch ran at them with his club, swinging it wildly.


"What ya goin to do when I'm not here no more Jude?"


"Why? Where ya going babes?"


"Nowhere! It's just that the show won't last forever will it. I'm getting old darlin! They retired the ghost!"


"The ghost was dead! You're not old. You're as young as that horny dog who's always after me!"


"That damn dog! I'm going to feed it to the croc!"


"You'll need some sausages to get the dog Punchinello!"


"Don't call me that Jude!"


"Punchinello, Punchinello!"


"Damn you Jude! I'm going to get somethin' better than sausages!"


With a quicksliver flash of his razor Punch opened him up. He slid his hand inside and yanked out a splashing coil of fresh guts, colon and all.


Punch hauled them up steaming in the night air like a trophy.


"Here doggy, here doggy doggy!"


The horny dog panted, licked Judy's red lips and leapt to grab the hot giblets and gobbled them all up.


"You've done us in Punch!"


"I did it for you Jude. No more dogs, no more crocs, no more babies."


"But I liked them really."


The pair fell over the tent's sill showered with blood. Their hands went limp. Punch and Judy lay upside down.


They stared at the man's ashen face flopped in the opening between them.


Through bubbling lips he spluttered in a high-pitched voice:


"That's the way to do it!"

No comments:

Post a Comment